I’m losing it guys

I haven’t done anything for so long I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do anything again. I mean, all my life people say crap like, “find what you love, and do that,” and “everyone has a talent for something.” I’m pretty freaking talented at doing nothing. Always have been. And I like it. Maybe it is my destiny.

In totally unrelated news, the new Call of Duty game comes out on the 9th and I’m thinking I might get it and then play it for like a week straight or something.

I understand intellectually how I should be ashamed of such admissions, but any part of me that pretended to care about such stuff is either dead, or near dead. I think I need to develop some ridiculous habit, one that requires large steady income. That should motivate me into “work” like everyone else.

I found out you actually have to look for work in order to get welfare benefits. How is that fair? That means just because I’m qualified for some job I have to do it? Sounds like one of those dystopian futures where the government gives me a blood test at birth and chooses my career for me. It’s exactly the same… except instead of choosing my career they’re choosing that I must have a career. Damn fascists.

Man… typing like 8 sentences of self deprecating semi-humor has exhausted me. I probably won’t be able to gather the will power to feed or bathe myself for a week or two now. So… if any of you pass my couch, would you be so kind as to roll me over. And if I don’t make any breathing noises when you do it, uh… well, you might just wanna leave. Wouldn’t want you to have to deal with that mess.