I’ve been called a jerk so many times I accept it as true. I have for a long time. I just recently was wondering why.
Me being a jerk is undoubtedly a complex thing, with multiple causes from the perspectives of different people. Further, my internal analysis of my being a jerk is undoubtedly biased and not really trustworthy for those who think I’m a jerk. It’s my blog, though, so I’m gonna write what I wanna.
The first thing I think when I think about how I’m a jerk is how I don’t really think I’m a jerk. If I knew me, I wouldn’t be thinking, “That guy is a jerk.” Lets examine this further.
I do admit to saying many jerky things, most of them are in the pursuit of humor, though. I think I get a lot of my jerk label from this. Some people just aren’t cool with humor at the expense of others, even if that other isn’t them. I don’t think this makes me a jerk, though. I think it’s funny. I think it brings laughter to the world. I do it to myself, I think it’s fair. This is a matter of opinion, though, so if you want to consider me a jerk for this, that’s fine. I just disagree.
The next jerky thing I do is ignore and/or argue with most advice given to me. Like, people who think I’m a jerk will say, “You should consider the feelings of others,” or, “You’re disgusting.” That last one usually refers to a belch, or my clothes, or my hair, or whatever. There’s a lot of advice about my looks I get that I ignore. I bet people don’t like it that I don’t take their advice. I mean, I don’t particularly enjoy how almost all my advice is ignored.
So, this brings up really two categories of my jerkiness. First, my disregard for some of societies rules, like don’t belch. I can’t really argue with me being defined as a jerk this way. I think the word “jerk” probably has a connotation meaning something like, “someone who disregards minor societal rules.” Now, I have my reasons, but that doesn’t matter. So, thinking I’m a jerk for this reason seems legitimate to me, but I would argue that this is a tiny offense, and should be outweighed by my other qualities.
The second is my ignoring of advice. This is also classic jerk behavior, but I think I deserve a pass. The reason is that I’m not wrong. The people giving me advice are. Now, obviously, everyone reading this is going to think of examples when they’ve been the ones giving me advice and they obviously don’t agree, and obviously most people who don’t take advice would feel as I do, but that’s just my point. Someone has to be wrong, so at least half of all advice should be ignored. I don’t just ignore all advice given to me, I consider all of it, and take that which is correct. Really, what more can you ask for?
I also brag a lot, which seems like jerk behavior. Really this falls into the joke category, because I think it’s funny. I think it’s funny because the bragging does not correspond to a feeling of superiority. I can see how it would mostly only be funny to me, though. Of all my jerk behavior, this is the one I think most deserving of correction. I think quite highly of myself, but I don’t really need to point it out all the time. Still, a couple things in my defense. One, most of the joke bragging is bragging about things I clearly have no real influence on. Like, how I’m skinny despite what I eat, or how I require little sleep. Two, I have to defend myself when I can cause everyone thinks I’m a jerk. 😛 In seriousness, though this behavior does make me a jerk, I think it’s pretty minor. And I have my reasons, again, that don’t matter.
The final jerk behavior I exhibit, at least to my own reckoning, is newly articulated in my mind. It boils down to that I don’t keep my mouth shut. I pipe up almost every time those around me say or do something I disagree with. I’m constantly putting little crimps in people’s world views, dings in beliefs, it makes me fairly disagreeable, in the literal sense. Even if I don’t actually put dings in beliefs, the fact that I try still qualifies me as a jerk. But this is wrong. This is not how the world should be. The world is not divided into separate spheres where each person gets their own bubble to do whatever they want with, only joining with those around long enough to exchange compliments and pass over disagreements. The world is interconnected and the mistakes of those around me will affect me and the rest of the world. Sitting by and letting people believe the incorrect is the real jerk thing to do. This category of my jerkiness I do not accept. In fact, I argue this jerk behavior is one of my strongest character strengths. I fight ignorance and illogicality as I can, with little support, and quite a lot of resistance, and I do it primarily for those other than myself.
I’ve not really argued against my being a jerk, and I’m not going to. I am a jerk. The point is I’m a lot of other things first. Besides all that above I do many other things. I share all I have with whoever wants it. I specifically give things I enjoy to others if they will enjoy it more. I help when asked, and when I obviously can even if I’m not asked. I donate my blood, my hair, my time, my computer cycles, and when I get some, my money. I’m on the list to donate my marrow, and if I die I’ve stated I want to donate everything I got. I’m ridiculously honest. I never do anything with intent to harm. I conserve. I write my congressman. I forgive easily. I take responsibility for my actions. I never risk compromising these qualities by altering my mind with chemicals.
My point is the things that make me a jerk are trivial compared to the things that make me a good guy. So, it’s correct to call me a jerk, but it should be more obvious, and is more correct, to call me a stand up citizen and friend to humanity.
I could start discussing the various cyclic loops in this whole subject of the jerk, but I think I should stick a fork in this post. Gonna do some homework or something.