I dunno if you guys have seen it, but I’ve seen it 4 times. Here’s the link I found w/ google by feeling lucky. The article talks about a study done that provides more evidence to the theory that the cleanliness of the Western world is causing the rise in asthma and allergies, and possibly other immune system related health problems. Anyway, this article inspired me to write a bit of a rant on the subject.
Now, I have known all this for years. Those of you who know me know I’ve got my own hygiene standards that don’t really match conventional society’s. I’ve taken some flak for it, but not as much as you might suspect. I pull off the grimy look pretty well, and a sizeable portion of the population is afraid I’ll blow up whatever building I’m in if enraged, so those people tend not to broach the subject. The people that do bother to question my hygiene habits are persistent enough that I’ve come up with a lot of reasons. One is the one made in the recent articles, I have more though. Not cleaning so often saves water on showers and laundry. Also saves money, cause I dun buy those fancy soaps and cleansers and deodorants whatnot, or as many clothes cause I’m not constantly ruining them in the washer. Also saves time… duh. I’ve also developed some suspicions about the products normal people buy. I’m fairly certain that deodorant makes your sweat stink, after however long they say they last. Kinda like how chapstick dries out your lips after a bit. Enough from this angle.
I’m a pretty “live and let live” type of guy. But I feel ranting is kinda a duty of those who are in the right… namely me. If the reasons above and in the article aren’t enough to make you stop showering so often, I’ve thought of some other ones that explain how your selfish showering is hurting me… and babies.
Beside the fact that you’re wasting water and electricity on all your cleaning, you also get sick more cause your immune system has been retarded. And then when you get sick you walk around incubating nasty germs and spreading them all over the place. People like me have to come around, soak them up, and kill them. This is hard work, and we don’t get paid. If this wasn’t bad enough you make it even worse. You go to the doctor and get prescribed antibiotics, cause you’re a wuss, and you take these antibiotics. The antibiotics kill a lot of the germs for you, but the ones it doesn’t kill are super germs. Then, over time, you create these vast strains of antibiotic resistant bacteria. Now, on one of my germ soaking missions I over do it, and I get sick. But I’m sick not with normal germs, but with super germs and I can’t get any help from modern medicine. And it won’t be my fault… it’s you showerers who get sick every month. /cry Think of the children!
Now, I realize this little rant is pretty much a complete joke, but what if in the future it’s not. I predict it will become a bit of an issue. Partially because cleaning technology is going to make some leaps in about 5 years with nanotechnology. So, in the not distant future the Western world will be even cleaner than ever. Along with this there will be a rise in antibiotic resistant strains of disease causing bacteria, because we keep using antibiotics. /shrug Can’t be avoided. At the same time, these developing nations are going to start becoming less developing, and more developed. They might start getting mad that after years of dying from easily curable diseases, now that they finally have the money to pay for drugs, the drugs don’t work anymore cause rich people kept getting colds all the time. Maybe a whole huge debate will spark over a persons right to a clean home. If it does, remember, you read about it here first.
Six, futurist and visionary saying shower less, live healthier.
Ok, that would make a great ending. Just a few thousand caveats I have to put on here. Most of you are too old to start up this lifestyle. Your immune system is permanently screwed if your 20 and just reading this. All I can say is, think of the children! If you have kids, let them get dirty. Spread the word to all your pregnant friends.
Also, don’t take this to an extreme. If you never clean yourself the germs will take over. So lets not go back to the stone age, I just don’t want us to become like all those aliens in movies that are so “advanced” that their bodies can’t come into contact with anything w/o causing a lethal reaction.
And now for something, completely different. People don’t like the use of quotation marks to symbolize sarcasm or irony. I dunno why. I mean, they’re called quotation marks. Given that grammar nerds will complain, I suggest we come up with a new symbol. I’ve already had this idea, but I never blogged about it. I think it should surround the text, like quotes, so the reader knows exactly what part is sarcastic. Maybe — would work. -Of course it won’t-. Brilliant.